Girl and The City!

Can old “Love” be “NEW” love…

KK — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 10:19:05 +0000

Yes I said it… When an opportunity arise for you to take advantage (non sexual) of an oldie but goodie what do you do? Hmmm the good for sure out-weighs the bad… Let’s see what happends with “Big”

Wedding Eyes…

KK — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 19:45:39 +0000

So Ebony & Dele’s wedding was this past weekend & I decided to GLAM up my eyes compliments of MAC… I loved the purple accent…

Orange Moon …

KK — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 05:32:01 +0000

How good it is to wake up to …

“Many nights i was alone. I’ve finally found my moon and she grows brighter by the day. its a very intimate and beautiful experience. I never thought I would find her and now I have her. I praise the day she came my way. How God it is. The woman is God’s greatest creation. I love you. Peace and blessings”

… How good it is, Howwwww GOOD IT IS, How good God is… He brought me YOU

Eat, Pray, Love ——> Drink, Laugh, Love soon to come!

Who asked you?

KK — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:18:09 +0000

Do you ever get annoyed at some people who just say some of the most off the wall ignorant things EVERRRRRR that has nothing to do with what your talking about?

I think I just had one of those moments… ANNOYING, if your opinion was wanted I would have kindly asked … Like a GREAT PHILOSOPHER once said… “People don’t know when your hungry but they sho know when your homeless” Thank you Phaedra for your “Southern Belle” philosophy. WTH?????

XOXOXO

Girl and the city

Happy Place pt 1

KK — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:53:18 +0000

Soooo I know it has been like FOREVER and a day, but I am back to doing what I love and that is expressing myself with FACT, FICTIONS and just FUN!

The journey of NOW vs. THEN… WOW there are no words… I have had experiences of a life time, live loved and lost. But now I have started the journey of coming full circle… Have you ever been so wrapped up in other’s you kind of lose you? I surely lost me and some other loser people in my life. Admitting your wrongs can be hard but I totally give in and admit that I am happy I’ve lost touch of someone and a place of which I thought was my “happy place”… The reality of the situation is that it was all a lie and I was fooling myself and “other” people. Everything that glitters is not gold… Lol, though this person was never ever considered gold in my eyes it was a secret escape of my reality… Life really comes at you fast and in this case I got smacked in the face by it. Trusting people who really are not at your level of life and love I have learned to be the mistake… Day and night difference because I made the choice to “step outside” the box for once and go against the grain I got burned in more ways than one. … … … …

I have found my REAL TRUE happy place and despite what I once ”thought” to be that place, NOTHING good can come from being stuck and continent with being AVERAGE. I am NOT average so while settle for an average person, or whatever you want to call it?

Sincerely, My Happy Place

XOXOXO

Girl and the City

How do you say sorry when words are not enough!

KK — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 20:38:39 +0000

Hello fellow blog readers, Today I pose the question of …

How do you say I am sorry when words are NOT enough?

7 Things to Stop Doing Now on Facebook

KK — Fri, 14 May 2010 13:24:25 +0000

Using a Weak Password

Avoid simple names or words you can find in a dictionary, even with numbers tacked on the end. Instead, mix upper- and lower-case letters, numbers, and symbols. A password should have at least eight characters. One good technique is to insert numbers or symbols in the middle of a word, such as this variant on the word “houses”: hO27usEs!

Leaving Your Full Birth Date in Your Profile

It’s an ideal target for identity thieves, who could use it to obtain more information about you and potentially gain access to your bank or credit card account. If you’ve already entered a birth date, go to your profile page and click on the Info tab, then on Edit Information. Under the Basic Information section, choose to show only the month and day or no birthday at all.

Overlooking Useful Privacy Controls

For almost everything in your Facebook profile, you can limit access to only your friends, friends of friends, or yourself. Restrict access to photos, birth date, religious views, and family information, among other things. You can give only certain people or groups access to items such as photos, or block particular people from seeing them. Consider leaving out contact info, such as phone number and address, since you probably don’t want anyone to have access to that information anyway.

Posting Your Child’s Name in a Caption

Don’t use a child’s name in photo tags or captions. If someone else does, delete it by clicking on Remove Tag. If your child isn’t on Facebook and someone includes his or her name in a caption, ask that person to remove the name.

Mentioning That You’ll Be Away From Home

That’s like putting a “no one’s home” sign on your door. Wait until you get home to tell everyone how awesome your vacation was and be vague about the date of any trip.

Letting Search Engines Find You

To help prevent strangers from accessing your page, go to the Search section of Facebook’s privacy controls and select Only Friends for Facebook search results. Be sure the box for public search results isn’t checked.

Permitting Youngsters to Use Facebook Unsupervised

Facebook limits its members to ages 13 and over, but children younger than that do use it. If you have a young child or teenager on Facebook, the best way to provide oversight is to become one of their online friends. Use your e-mail address as the contact for their account so that you receive their notifications and monitor their activities. “What they think is nothing can actually be pretty serious,” says Charles Pavelites, a supervisory special agent at the Internet Crime Complaint Center. For example, a child who posts the comment “Mom will be home soon, I need to do the dishes” every day at the same time is revealing too much about the parents’ regular comings and goings

RACE FOR THE CURE!

KK — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 13:32:16 +0000

I am ohhhh so ever excited, on May 15th, 2010 I will be joining the masses in Racing for a cure … A cure to Breast Cancer and Breast Cancer Awareness!

I do this walk/Run every year and this year will be my first year RUNNING

“I was RUNNNNINNNGGGGGGGGG”

Forrest Gump!

I am overly joyed to be apart of such a worthy cause not only for personal reasons but because I am actually doing something about it and helping others. Breast Cancer is NO JOKE and a horrible disease that affect so many, including my grandmother (who passed in 11/2007) and my very own Mother (who is a SURVIVOR–> Lord I thank you JESUS)… The excitement is building up and I can’t wait to come back & share pictures & stories … Until next time,

Peace and Love,

XO XO XO XO

Girl and the City

Dating Tips: 9 Simple Things Women Want

KK — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 20:47:58 +0000

Dating Tips: 9 Simple Things Women Want

By YourTango.com

Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned, “What exactly do women want?” We’re not playing coy here, we know we’re complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men.

But women aren’t exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 9 simple things women want. Note: you won’t find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.

More on Dating From YourTango:

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don’t have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It’s another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Just because we’re staying in doesn’t mean the evening can’t be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating — all of the things that made us fall in love with you don’t have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We’re not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can’t be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says “love” more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you’ll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you’ve been thinking about us and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it’s nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren’t, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we’re hot. Tell us we’re beautiful. It helps us feel good. Words of appreciation aren’t half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn’t have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you’re grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn’t mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually — no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you’re coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the “I’m getting married in the morning” kind. You don’t have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We’re not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it’s the name of your best friend’s husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it’s the little things you remember about us that’s so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn’t mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals — in other words, don’t support lazy or bad habits — are ultimately happier than those who don’t hold each other accountable.

Dating 101: Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

KK — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 20:43:09 +0000

Dating 101: Have You Found Your Soul Mate? 10 indications that you may have found The One

Do you believe there is a soul mate out there for you? Well, you’re not alone. Studies from the University of Virginia have shown that over 90% of young adults believe in the concept. And 88% believe that destiny has determined that there is one and only one person who is your soul mate.

The concept of the soul mate is thousands of years old and probably was originated by the Greek philosopher Plato. Plato described a soul mate as the person’s “other half” that has been split from him. The quest of life is to find your missing half. That theme has been explored in movies like “The Butcher’s Wife,” “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” and “City of Angels.” Other views of soul mates include reincarnation: our soul mate is someone with whom we have shared other lives.

The soul mate concept also carries with it the belief that a perfect person exists for us, if only we could find him or her — then love and life would be easy. This belief has created a lot of trouble for people, especially in the area of commitment. By insisting on finding a perfect partner, many people have walked away from really great potential partners. Why? Because something was missing. Maybe it was chemistry, or that he/she didn’t match their ideal of The One. So they’ve ended up alone, still looking for that perfect soul mate. The renowned family psychiatrist Frank Pittman once said, “Nothing has produced more unhappiness than the concept of the soul mate.”

Having been a psychologist for more than 25 years, and married to one guy for the same long stretch, I can tell you that there are no perfect partners out there. Not me. Not my husband. Not any of my many clients, friends, or family members. Lasting love is a hard-won battle of personal discipline, compromise, dedication, and commitment.

Scientists have found that scent plays a role in physical attraction and desire. Other research shows that those who are of similar educational levels are more compatible. While I don’t believe in The One perfect person idea, I do believe that there are better matches for us. And if we are with one of these people, we are more likely to have the experience of being with the one who is a soul mate (which I have had personally and can tell you, is a marvelous thing!).

The Indications

So chances are, there is more than one person out there who fits the bill for you. All of them are less than perfect. But if there are no perfect partners, how can you know whether to stay or go? Here are 10 relationship markers to help you know if he or she is The One:

1. When you’re together you feel like you’ve come home.

2. You feel like your partnership was meant to be, as if kissed by destiny.

3. In your communication with each other there is a rapid “knowing” of what each of you means.

4. You have a shared mission in life, perhaps a cause, a career, or the creation of a family life.

5. When you’re together the world seems like a better place.

6. Your mood is elevated when you’re together. It’s not necessarily passion or excitement, although that’s there too at times.

7. When you look at him/her you see a part of yourself that’s been missing. Perhaps it’s her assertiveness or his joy of adventure. But it’s something that when added to your life, makes you feel more complete.

8. Being together makes you more hopeful about the future you are creating.

9. You can be more authentic and fully yourself around your partner.

10. Being together makes each of you work harder on overcoming bad habits and becoming more loving people.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel all 10 of these things when you’re with your partner. That’s where the imperfection comes in — either in you or your partner. If you are experiencing six or more of these markers, chances are you are matched well. Over time you can work towards having all of these qualities. Couples who have lasting love find that their relationships get closer and better over time. And that process has been my privilege and good fortune to experience personally — after a lot of hard work that continues to this day!

Bottom line: your chances of finding The One are better than you think. So go out there and start looking. Love almost always comes in a surprise package that opens up in marvelous and magical ways.

By dating expert Diana Kirschner, Ph.D.